


What's Derek Hale afraid of?

by fire_andwolfsbane



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alpha Derek, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentions of Death, Mentions of Laura, Pack Feels, Per-slash, Pre Sterek, Pre-Canon, Spooning, derek talks, fears, mentions of pack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-28
Updated: 2013-02-14
Packaged: 2017-11-27 07:52:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/659585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fire_andwolfsbane/pseuds/fire_andwolfsbane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maybe you could come and save me.<br/>Or the one where Derek talks about his fears.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Stiles walks into his room, not knocking, not saying a word. He just walks in. It's something Derek's been working on, letting people in. In every sense of the word. Maybe stiles brought it to his attention, maybe he's noticed it before but whatever it was, it's taken a lot of getting used to.

Stiles sits on the edge of his bed. Back facing him while he looks out the door. They have a sort of unspoken communication. They just sit in each others presence and not worry about the world. Even though Derek has a living room full of werewolves downstairs, right now, the world is white noise. He listens to Stiles breath. He wonders when this became a thing, when he let Stiles into his personal space. When it was ok for him to do so. But it doesn't matter, his eyes slide shut. The steady thrum of "friend not foe, friend not foe." Is the constant, that is Stiles' heartbeat. 

"I'm scared." Stiles whispers. His voice strong, yet shaky, like the wind. He wants to reply with "why? I'm here, what's to be scared of? I'll protect you, and Scott, my pack. I'll protect you better than I did my family. Better than I did Laura." But all that leaves his mouth is

"Of" mentally he beat himself up about it. 

"Of werewolves, red eyes, claws, monsters, the dark." He says jokingly.

"Of losing the people I care about, dying, killing my father too, not waking up one morning, darkness, numbness, not being able to save you, Scott, Allison, Lydia, Ms. McCall. Being human, the unenviable near future. Of being brave." Stiles says with a sigh. His voice trailing off. So many things Derek can say to ease the boys nerves, but he doesn't, he eases his own.

"I can save myself." He replies. Stiles lays horizontally on his bed, on his back. Derek's heart stutters, they're so close, but he still won't touch. Stiles hums his response. It's enough for Derek, for now. Maybe one day Derek will tell him what he's afraid of, if he ever lets himself dwell on it for long. 

That night he dreams, he dreams of his pack, finally happy. They're sitting downstairs laughing at some joke Stiles just told, they make eye contact and for the first time in a long time, he smiles. Derek really truly smiles." 

"You smile in your sleep." Stiles says, rousing him from his rest.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, it's nice. You look less menacing." Stiles smiles sitting up and crossing his legs underneath him. Facing him. Derek does the same. He lets his head rest on his headboard.

"We should check on the others." he says sliding his legs off the edge of his bed. Stiles reaches his hand out and places it on his shoulder. Derek glances at it. And back to stiles.

"Thanks." Stiles says. Derek nods, continuing his way out the door. Stiles follows suite. They make their way downstairs the pack instantly looking at them. 

"Hey guys." Stiles says nonchalantly. They smile and make room for him in their pack huddle. Derek sits at the only available chair. A smile creeps up but Derek does his best to not show it.

"so what's on the agenda for today?" Scott asks. Derek looks at them trying to think of something for them to do.

"well Derek is going be his usual brooding sourwolf self, while you guys beat each other and heal. And I, I'm gong to watch, eat chips like a king and maybe bring you guys snacks." Stiles says first. He looks at Derek and smiles, warm and inviting like everything in the world just fades away. Stiles looks at home here like there's a piece of a puzzle that Derek tried relentlessly to fit, but now, finally it fits. They laugh. He smiles.

deja Vu'

Maybe one day Derek will tell Stiles what he's afraid of, but as for now he's going to sit here and bask in this familiar feeling.

feeling of family.


	2. It's all of This

It comes out all at once. His thoughts, his feelings.  
Normally during pack meetings, Derek trains his pack. They do courses, practice fighting techniques, exercise. But today Derek doesn't call them here, they just come. Maybe cause they know. Maybe they sense it, but whatever. Derek's locked himself in his room. Drowning himself in his thoughts. He hasn't had time with them since,

Everything.

Boyd, Isaac, Scott and Stiles sit themselves on Derek's couch. The feel of sadness weighs down on them, but nobody speaks for a while. The silence in the small room is thick, it's the one thing Stiles hates.

Silence.

Even when he was mourning his mother, he had music blaring, loud, deafening. His father didn't mind cause while Stiles was crying, he was drinking. 

Stiles stands up. Runs a hand through his quickly growing hair, and turns towards the stairs. 

"Stiles," Boyd starts. 

"No, don't tell me not to go up there. He's mourning his parents death. And just cause you guys are down here doesn't mean I shouldn't go up there." He looks around to see if any one else wants to object. He sees Boyd smile small before he nods at stiles as he turns up the stairs. Stiles starts to knock on Derek's door, but instead he reaches for the nob, holding his breath as he turns it slowly. 

Derek's sitting on the edge of his bed.

Staring out into nothingness. His shirtless body, taunt and ridged is shaking slightly. He doesn't even turn when Stiles walks in. 

Stiles' breath rushes out, slow and steady, like a stream. He takes slow steps to Derek's frozen body. Only stopping when his front Is almost pressed to Derek's arm. He reaches out, placing a hand on his shoulder. Derek looks at him like he doesn't recognize who he is. His face looks like he's trying to see through thick fog. 

And Stiles wonders if this happens whenever Derek allows himself to wallow in sadness. Stiles breaths deeply and pushes Derek back on his bed. Removing his own shirt and pants, he lays down behind him. Pressing his cold body to Derek's warm back, using his knees to push the backs of Derek's closer to his chest. Stiles brings his hand to rest over Derek's chest, feeling his heartbeat. He feels Derek relax, slowly but surely.

Derek's mind clears from it's Daze. He feels Stiles' heart against him. Strong and sure. Protecting him. His breath warm against his back.

He's relaxing and all because Stiles. 

"I'm scared." He says. Voice quiet and shaky. 

"Of?" 

"Of failing, dying, loosing you, my pack, not protecting Isaac, Scott, Boyd, losing my memories, my family, being a monster, darkness, loosing control, fire," he pauses sinking his body further Into Stiles's touch." Of lions tigers and bears." He says aiming for joking, but missing by a long shot. Stiles closes his eyes and presses his face into the triskelion. He gives Derek's chest a reassuring squeeze.

Rubbing his thumb in small circles, trying to soothe.

"It's, all of this" Derek says trailing off. 

"I know Derek." 

"Thank you." He replies closing his eyes. Letting the rest of his body relax against the boy.  
\----

 

"He's done it." Boyd says.

"Done what?" Scott asks, looking around the room.

"He's broken our alpha."

"but in a sweet, caring way, right?" Isaac asks, looking at Scott as if he has the answer.

"Yeah, in a sweet caring way." Boyd says reverently.

They sit back on the couch, finally being able to relax. The weight of sadness, being lifted. Maybe one day this will be easier. Maybe one day Derek will actually tell them what really happened when Kate came, but as for now, they're all just glad that he's found Stiles. The awkward, ADHD kid who never shuts up. 

Well except when he's determined.

Isaac can sit back and smile. He's happy. Derek treats him like his father should've. He loves him, and tells him that. Not with his words, but with his actions. And Scott see's it too. He's thankful that Derek didn't give up on him and actually persuaded him into joining the pack. Derek's been a constant in both his and Isaac's life. And Boyd, well, Boyd's just glad that Derek doesn't call him Vernon. So maybe Stiles has edged his way into Derek's heart, and maybe they've lost a few important family members. But they're stronger than ever and that how it's going to stay.

It's all of this, and love.


End file.
